Blurb:
Gracie has just finished her freshman year of college in
Memphis when she takes a
job at a
local pizza joint in her home town of McKenzie, Tennessee. She is the epitome
of innocence when she meets Noah. Noah is unabashedly handsome, intriguingly
reckless and just cocky enough to be sexy. Gracie’s instincts tell her to stay
far away from him and based on the stories she hears from her co-workers he
leaves broken hearts in his wake. But still, she can’t explain her fascination
with him.
Noah puts aside his bad boy ways when what he thought was a
summer crush has him unexpectedly falling in love. But soon after Gracie
transfers to UT Knoxville to be with Noah, their unexpected love becomes
riddled with anger, deceit and humiliation.
Jake, Noah’s former roommate and Gracie’s best friend, can no longer be a
bystander. Gracie’s world falls out from beneath her and when she breaks she
turns to Jake for strength. As Jake talks her through a decision she’s not yet
strong enough to make, together they uncover a truth so ugly neither of them is
prepared for its fallout. Will Jake pull her to the surface or is Gracie Jordan
finally In Too Deep?
My Review
4.5
((All the emotional aspects make up for Gracie's tendency to make me want to slap her. I know girls like her. Once I may have been similar to her))
Gracie is drowning.
I wondered what it felt like to hold on to someone you knew wouldn't let you go-Gracie
Come on, we've all been there. That moment when you think you have everything under control, that you really can handle everything that's going on regardless of the flashing warning signs going off around you. Still, you try to deny it, to hold on to what you wish was really happening versus what's really going on. It's no different for Gracie in In Too Deep. The title and blurb caught my attention and I knew I had to read it. I loved the cover and everything the photo represents. In Too Deep tore me to pieces and had me struggling to contain my emotions. All three of the characters we're so distinct and broke my heart in different ways. Even though sometimes I wanted to deck Gracie or shake her, I could honestly relate and for me, that took the story to a completely different level. Now, I understand how my best friend felt back then when I was kind of like Gracie.
I love the way Michelle developed all the characters and was able to create such vivid and dynamic relationships with her debut novel. Things didn't just effect Gracie but rather the entire cast was dealing with their own fears, doubt and insecurities weighing them down. Turning the page became almost like an addiction because I had to know what happened next or if anyone was going to feel better. There's so much hope inside the pages that I almost couldn't stand it when I thought maybe there wasn't going to be the ending I had hoped for. Michelle did a great job depicting Gracie and I appreciated that she was a struggling student in her early twenties which helped me connect with Gracie, making her more realistic. The story isn't all hearts and butterflies, it has a raw intensity that takes the reader from hopeless to hopeful. If you're looking for an amazing read that will tug on your heartstrings and make you face or think of things you haven't before, then I'd definitely recommend In Too Deep to you. This isn't for someone looking for a fairy tale or anything equally as sweet. This is a gritty, raw, emotional read that in the end, you'll need a few moments of silence to let everything begin to set in.
Excerpt
My phone buzzed.
Jake: Gracie?
I turned off my phone. The
doorbell rang before I even had a chance to feel guilty for not answering. I
threw the covers over my head and lay there, eyes wide open. It rang again.Can
someone please get the door? I’m too busy feeling sorry for myself to get up.
Ding dong.
I groaned as I pulled
myself from under the covers and flung my legs off the edge of my bed. The UPS
man was going to get an eyeful because I didn’t even have the energy to pull my
sleep pants on. The super huge t-shirt I wore to bed was longer than some
skirts I had. I would just have to reach around the opened door, sign something
on his little clipboard and throw the package on the hall table before jumping
right back into bed. No one was home. I could have slept all day. Stupid
delivery guy.
But when I rounded the
corner into the foyer, I could see Noah through the side window to the right of
the door. My heart slammed its next beat so hard I was sure someone standing in
front of me would have seen my ribcage lunge forward.
“What do you want?” I said
the words on my side of the window. He didn’t need to hear me, he had to be
expecting something like that. He knew I wouldn’t be happy to see him. I was
pissed that he was at my door. Flashes of my birthday night coursed through my
mind one by one. I winced and squeezed my eyes closed hoping to wring the
images from my head.
“Gracie, I know you don’t
want to open the door, but I need you to listen to what I have to say.” He was
talking louder than he needed to for me to hear him. I was instantly annoyed. I
shuddered.
“So talk.” If I kept a
locked door between us, I could walk away whenever I’d had enough.
“Can I please come in?”
“No.”
“Okay, I’ll talk through a
window if that’s the only way you’ll listen.” He waited a couple seconds like
he thought I’d have a change of heart and open the door. When he saw that was
not in his cards, he started talking. I leaned my forehead against the cool
glass and watched his lips form words that proved introspection, self-awareness
and a level of thought so deep I could do nothing but hold my breath and wish
he wasn’t doing this to me.
“Gracie. I haven’t had a
solid example of how to show love or how to accept it. At least not the depth
of love you are willing to give. I don’t know how to reciprocate that without
feeling terrified. I never expected to fall so hard for you. I never thought I
could love someone so hard it hurt. But I can. I do.
“Gracie. When you look at
me and I know you can see all the way into my soul, my first instinct is
self-preservation. I instinctively push you away so you won’t climb deeper into
me. Your heart is so big, Gracie, it could swallow me whole, and that scares
the shit out of me because I shouldn’t be worthy of that kind of love. I don’t
deserve you. I guess in a twisted sort of way, I push you away to save you.”
The window steamed from the
warm breath escaping between my lips. I remembered the conversation I had with
my mom. She said only if it was of their own volition could someone truly make
a change. I couldn’t believe what was happening in front of me. A huge part of
me didn’t want it to be happening because Noah and I proved to be a disaster. I
knew I couldn’t handle one more blow from him. My sanity was already climbing
the walls. But, as if they had minds of their own, one hand turned the deadbolt
and the other opened the door. Cool air across my thighs reminded me I was
still only in a t-shirt. I motioned for Noah to follow me back to my room. I
needed to put more clothes on so he didn’t ruin his heart-felt apology by
making a move on me. He sat on my bed and I pulled sweats off the hook on the back
of my door and slid myself inside them. I sat down next to him. He took my
hands in his.
“I am head over heels in
love with you, Gracie. I have been since the night you kissed me after the
fireworks. I’ve always thought that shock between our lips was a sign that you
were the one. I’m terrified of that. If I let myself truly feel the level of
love I know we are capable of, then what happens if you leave me? I don’t know
how to handle that kind of pain. I am sure I’ve never felt something that
severe.”
“Noah, you just described
what you have done to me, over and over and over. You have split my heart wide
open so many times because, unlike you, I don’t know how to guard my heart. I
opened it to you almost two years ago, and I’ve been giving you all I have ever
since. I can’t turn it off, I don’t know how. So, when you pierce me with your
hateful words, the pain is palpable. It takes me to my knees.” There was no
holding back the tears. I didn’t even try to. I was done walking on eggshells.
Again.
That’s when he did
something I never thought I’d see. He fell into my lap and cried like a baby. I
had taken all the pain he had inflicted on me and threw it straight to his
heart before he had the chance to get that wall back up.
About the Author
Michelle Kemper Brownlow has been a storyteller her entire
life. Her debut was on the high school cheerleading bus granting requests to
re-tell her most embarrassing moments for a gaggle of hysterical squadmates.
Earning her Bachelor’s degree from Penn State University in Art Education and
then marrying her very own “Jake,” she moved to Binghamton, NY where she taught
high school. After having two children she quit work and finished her Master’s
degree in Elementary Education at Binghamton University.
The Brownlow family of four moved to Michelle’s hometown of Morgantown, PA
while the children were still quite young. A few years after moving, her family
grew by one when they welcomed a baby into their home through the gift of
adoption. The family still resides in PA, just miles from where that high
school cheer bus was parked.
Michelle has been an artist for as long as she can remember, always choosing
pencils and crayons over toys and puzzles. As a freelance illustrator, her
simple characters play the starring roles in numerous emergent reader books
published by Reading Reading Books.
“Writing is my way of making sense of the world. When I give my characters life
on the pages I write, it frees up space in my mind to welcome in new stories
that are begging to be told,” says Brownlow.
Extras
IN TOO DEEP hit three genre-specific best seller lists on
Amazon the day before its release.
IN TOO
DEEP’s sequel, ON SOLID GROUND, will be released sometime in December 2013.
Easy tag line: The day he said, “I love you” should
have been the day she said, “Goodbye.”
Sapphire Star Publishing: http://www.sapphirestarpublishing.com/michellekemperbrownlow
Stalk Her Here
Twitter: MK_Brownlow